My name is Dan Henderson and I quit Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after 6 years of training. Here’s my story and I thought I’d share it and get it off my chest.
Table of Contents
On starting BJJ and the early years
When I first starting training, I was 16 and like many youngsters in the sport I was tenacious and had dreams of winning competitions. There was an inner competitive drive within me that needed to be fed. By the time I’d gone to college, I had other aspirations such as a career and other stuff in my personal life. At this point I’d just gotten my blue belt and whilst I still loved BJJ as a martial art, it simply meant less to me.
Then a few years after graduating and moving into a job I began training again more frequently. Now in my mid twenties, I finally had more time to devote to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Noticeably, I had slowed down at this point…both physically and mentally. I was no longer the 16 year old boy that had something to prove. I actually enjoyed BJJ more in this setting and felt more liberated as a result. I didn’t compete and didn’t feel that rush anymore.
On BJJ techniques and culture changing with time
One interesting thing I found after dipping in and out of training for a few years was the change in culture. This was both on and off the mats. Perhaps it was a change in gyms but certain moves weren’t as hot anymore. Back when I began, everyone loved 50/50 and the berimbolo. Now it was lapels and other stuff. I found this interesting and wonder what will be the ‘in’ move in another 10 years or so. If you’re caught up in your training then you may not realize this but BJJ actually evolves at a rapid pace!
Another thing I noticed was the social media scene. Back when I began, it was mostly promoted and talked about on Facebook. This had now moved to Instagram and everything seemed more promotional. Whether that’s a good thing…I honestly don’t know. My point is that in BJJ times change fast if you’re not as invested as you once were.
Eventually, life got in the way. I am told this is the most common reason for quitting and for this I am not alone. I met my fiance, got married and had a kid. Training even a couple of times a week was now simply too much for me. Between my career, wife, kid and other activities, I literally didn’t have any time to train anymore.
On not missing BJJ or planning to return any time soon
And the truth be told? I don’t miss it. Some days I look back at my earlier days and have great memories. Or, I watch someone do a cool submission on UFC and it makes me smile. However, my life is very different now and I’m simply not bothered by it any more.
There’s nothing wrong with this and I’m not ashamed with my decision either. Looking back, as I got older my priorities changed and I simply didn’t care as a result. The way I describe it, is that it’s like being a child and the best thing you can do all day is watch cartoons. At some point, you grow out of this and whilst the memories of these cartoons are great, I just couldn’t find joy in watching them anymore.
Then as a teenager, you may go out to house parties and bars and drink and party. It’s great fun at that age and seems like the best thing in the world. Then at some point you begin to like it a little less and eventually it fades away.
The same happened with me and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Now, I prefer playing tennis and relaxing more than I did rolling or catching a submission. Perhaps in another ten years I will have moved on to golf and then eventually something completely different. My point is that this is my own personal growth and whatever happens I will embrace – so long as I enjoy it.
I also pen this letter to those who have stuck with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu throughout their lives. I have nothing but love and respect for those who can somehow make time with other stuff going on around them. Basically, they took a different path to me and that’s cool as well.
Final thoughts and why quitting is sometimes for the best
So, if you don’t like training BJJ anymore then just quit. This may not be the best advice and people don’t like quitters as it’s meant to be weak. But speaking from experience, life’s too short and you should only do hobbies that you enjoy. Sometimes when I used to train, you could tell people were there who didn’t want to be. For me at least, that behavior is worse than a quitter as it’s wasting time.
Lastly, one day I may go back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I doubt it but never say never. If I do return though, it will be because I want to and it won’t be about belts, competitions or approval from others. I’ll do so on my own terms and that’s if I enjoy it.
If you’re reading this – take it as a love letter to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu from someone who burned out as a blue belt. It may not be the most interesting tale and is probably a very common one. However, good luck from the other side of the wall, and most of all enjoy your training – Dan Henderson.
